Saturday, March 14, 2009

Dr. Evil: Get a driver!


As a Redskins fan, I was very happy to see them get Albert Haynesworth in the free agent market. I was surprised to read that they gave him a 7-year contract for $100 million. This made me think of Dr. Evil from the Austin Powers movies holding his pinky finger up to his lips, saying, “One Hundred Million Dollars!”

Albert Haynesworth was recently in a car accident in which someone was hurt. It does not appear that alcohol was involved. He has been charged for the accident and could face a maximum penalty of a $500 fine and six months in jail.

Now the $500 is practically nothing to him, but the timing of the jail sentence could have him miss his first season with the Redskins. That could be a loss of $14 million! In addition to losing the money, losing a year in the NFL can reduce his ability to perform well the next year. He may not have access or enough access to weightlifting equipment to stay in NFL shape.

While it appears that alcohol did not contribute to the car accident, he has to be accused of doing something criminal for him to be charged. He was probably speeding. I cannot help but to be reminded of Paris Hilton and Mel Gibson, who were both arrested for drunk driving.

These are people who are rich enough to afford personal drivers. In addition, they are famous enough to have fans willing to drive them for free! Paris Hilton recently had a reality show in which contestants were competing to be her new best friend. It is clear that a lot of people would be willing to drive her for free just to hang around her. She could have avoided that time in jail had she giving a fan a day to hang out with Paris.

In the case of Mel Gibson, had he allowed for some super-fan to hang out with him, he would have never had that public, anti-semitic tirade. He would have just been rumored to be a Jew hater.

I hope that Albert Haynesworth is innocent. If he is guilty, then I hope that he gets a personal driver. We know that he can afford it!

Just as I was about to upload this article, I just read that Browns WR Stallworth hit and killed a pedestrian. It is not clear if charges will be filed or not.

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