Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Jennifer Aniston: 1 out of 200,000.

Some people make the same mistake over and over again. You cannot help them. You just watch it happen again and again until they appear to be doing a self-imitation.

Jennifer Aniston is starting to do a great imitation of herself.

Now this is hard to explain. Jennifer Aniston seems like one of the nicest people. She is definitely attractive. But at the same time, there is something about her that draws men away from her. In a way, she’s like the cute girl who you really don’t want to date.

Back in 2005, I joked by saying, “As women around the world celebrate Brad Pitt’s entry into single life, men continue to not give a shit about Jennifer Aniston.”

That comment got some laughter. It’s funny because to a lot of people, it is true. Jennifer Aniston is cute, but in a way, she’s not sexy. She’s just there. You know when you see someone who is gorgeous, and you think, “Wow, look at her!” Jennifer is not that girl.

Angelina Jolie is that girl!

That is the difference between cute and sexy. Jennifer Aniston is cute. Angelina Jolie is sexy!

But this is not about the fact that Jennifer Aniston was dumped by Brad Pitt. The real issue is why she has made mistake after mistake ever since the breakup.

She dated Vince Vaughn and then John Mayer. She has a right to date whoever she feels like dating. But now that John Mayer has dumped her. I have a piece of advice that I really wish she could hear.

My advice: Date one non-celebrity.

I think that Jennifer Aniston has tried to capitalize on “Feel sorry for me because I was dumped by Brad Pitt.” I honestly did feel sorry for her because she seems like a good person. She hasn’t said or done anything that can actually make me dislike her as a person.

But at the same time, how can I feel sorry for a celebrity who dates no one but celebrities? I honestly cannot feel sorry at this point. I feel that she is trying to replace Brad Pitt by dating another famous actor or singer that other women really want.

Celebrities have a few advantages over non-celebrities:

1) They are rich.
2) They are famous.
3) They are usually beautiful.

Sometimes, a celebrity couple can be very successful. One rich and beautiful celebrity who can have anyone he or she wants goes after another celebrity. Sometimes you end up dating a celebrity who everyone else wants. Lucky you!

But sometimes it doesn’t work that way. Even Cameron Diaz is single! But celebrities also have the ability to date non-celebrities who could end up being in awe of them.

To John Mayer, Jennifer Aniston may have been just another girl. But to some regular guy who may have been a fan of the show Friends, she is JENNIFER ANISTON!

I don’t think that someone should just fall in love with and marry her because she is a celebrity, but her dating pool should be bigger than People Magazine. She won’t be dating a Brad Pitt or a John Mayer. Maybe she’d find a really handsome and nice guy who is just… normal!

Or maybe she doesn’t want normal. Maybe she just cannot see herself without someone else famous so people won’t look at her as someone who took a step down from Brad Pitt. Someone should tell Jennifer Aniston that for the last 15 years, women would put together their top five lists of the guys that they liked. That lists included:

1. Tom Cruise
2. Brad Pitt
3. Random Guy #1
4. Random Guy #2
5. Random Guy #3

Tom Cruise, Brad Pitt, and three other guys who would change on the list year after year. Someone should tell her that she’s not going to find the next Brad Pitt. Tom Cruise is taken. Jennifer Aniston is ignoring most of the fish in the sea. She wants another celebrity and I bet her next relationship will be with another celebrity.

This reminds me of a woman who was a millionaire who I saw on TV who insisted that the next time she gets married; the man has to have at least one million dollars of his own. I can see that she wouldn’t want someone who would marry her for her money alone. That is reasonable. But to insist that her next husband is a millionaire is ridiculous.

Jennifer Aniston has entered the same level of ridiculousness. I think that this number may sound high, but let’s say that there are 3000 big celebrities in the United States. Keep in mind that not every celebrity is immediately recognizable to others. So many factors can determine how famous someone is. Some celebrities become less famous over time. So in a nation of 300 million people, Jennifer Aniston is fishing through a pool in which only 1 out of 100,000 is acceptable. But wait, we’re only talking about famous men, because she is a woman. Now the number is 1 out of every 200,000 people in the United States.

Do you still feel sorry for Jennifer Aniston?

I don’t.


Blogger nebraska said...

i think jen is really sexy! jolie is sexy too, but in a "i'll chew you up and spit you out" kind of way. not sure how sexy she is right now - most likely she's covered in baby spit-up. besides sex appeal isn't a two-dimensional thing, i don't think you can judge it until you've actually met the person in the flesh. i wonder what you look like?

4:18 PM  
Blogger Beth said...

I think people date (a) people they relate to and (b) people who they spend a lot of time with. I am a graduate student. I relate to graduate students most because we have the most to talk about and they understand the sort of life that I lead and want to lead a similar life. But I also SEE other graduate students more than I see young professionals like lawyers or other types of people I could potentially date. So I date a graduate student, surprise surprise. Jennifer Aniston has been a celebrity since she was little so she probably "gets" other celebrities more than she does the average lay folk, and moreover they probably get here more than say for example you would. Plus she sees them more than she sees other Joe Schmoes. She's more likely to date someone she hangs out with on the set or at celebrity parties than she is someone she meets at a bar or at the public library.

Dating is hard. Breakups happen. I don't think they necessarily happen more among celebrities than others, though it might seem like it because of how publicized their breakups are. I think Jen has just as much of a chance finding a lasting relationship with a celebrity than she has with a non-celebrity.

In the name of reciprocity, you should comment on my blog too!

8:57 AM  

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